Advice needed - unfair swap

[Tora]

Hi, I hope it's ok to post this here.

I got a PM from a member here asking if I could spare my passiflora edulis plants back in January. The person offered me his bamboo plants in return. As my plants were still small, I told him I would send a dozen of them and also that I have gingko seeds to spare. He said he needs a lot of gingko seeds so I sent 30+ seeds along with the passiflora plants. He sent me a PM saying he received them and that he couldn't send the bamboo just yet as the ground was too frozen to dig the plants up. That was in January.

Now the weather has been good and warm, so I decided to contact him via PM asking about bamboo. I got no answer so I sent an e-mail. Still no answer. I sent e-mail again after a while. Still no answer!

It seems he hasn't come back to A4A since January. I checked his website on his profile and it was blank. His e-mail address sound a bit made up as well.

What do I do?  :(

I really wish there was some system of recommendation as to who was an honest swapper, and who wasn't, which is, ironically, what the person suggested in the Unfair Swaps?? thread. http://www.allotments4all.co.uk/joomla/smf/index.php?topic=26923.20.

[Tora]

[Jeannine]

I have read the previous post and I can relate to some of the concerns there.

The first one that glares out at me is that if no note is put in a swap it can be very difficult to know who to thank,many times there are lots of swaps going on and it is easy to lose track.

I have sent over 80 envelopes out , there is no way I could remember them all if I didn't keep a log.

I think for the most part folks are genuine, they do forget they were going to send something or they send the wrong thing. I have had an empty envelope  and in another swap I got empty seeds but I would like to think it was a genuine mistake.

For my part, sharing seeds is perhaps more inportant than swapping seeds, I feel totally comfortable asking for seeds now as I feel I am known as a giver and what goes around comes around but I would share seeds with an unknown just as readily

I would  encourage posters to contact their swapper if they don't receive something they expect.If lost in the post, you have no-one to thank and then the sender may feel snubbed. I do contact folks who have said they will send for that reason  and beg people to contact me if I am sending something which does not arrive.

I now keep a carbon copy book by my side, it is so easy for info  to get lost especially with only a small PM capacity.

I don't know how an official list of swappers could work. It would exclude newbies .I was a newbie not so long ago and I have shared tons of seeds now .

I have had 2 bad experiences, not worth a mention, but my common sense knows I was taken.I just wouldn't swap with that person again if asked.

I see most probs coming from communication, lack of notes in packets, and the fact that we are all very busy and probably rely on our memories far more than we should.

Swapping is great fun, I don't know what would constitute a dis- honest swapper  and I would be loathe to add someone to a published list as so many ifs could be in there.

I think if a receiver puts a note on the site asking who sent?? the sender may at first feel offended that they had to ask, but with so many swaps going on my advice would be ,don't take it personally, it is better for someone to admit they have forgotten and try to thank the giver  openly than to leave it unrecognised.

Perhaps someone else has some pearls of wisdom??

XX Jeannine

[sarah]

sounds to me like youve been had. think you may have to chalk it up to experience. its a real shame and i think everyone would agree that its not acceptable behavior. i have to say that all the swaps i have been involved in on a4a have been very successful. i thinkyou just got unlucky with that member and i wouldnt let it put you off swapping again.

[CityChick]

That must be disappointing... I do hope they've just forgotten!

Do you still have their address?  Maybe a polite note enquiring if the plants are ready yet would jog their memory?  I'd be mortified if I'd forgotten and would want someone to tell me so I could put it right...

Or maybe someone else might have alternative contact details for them?

Best of luck - hope it gets sorted.

[rutters]

Tora, if it's a member called 'funplants' then he's done me aswell. I sent him some seeds back in Jan and I got the same message about the ground. I have since pm'd and emailed him..but nothing :-\

[tilts]

Gosh, thank goodness i checked my pms and diary at 3 this morning and emailed someone who i thought i may have missed with a swap!
I 've heard from him and yes, i had missed it.
Phew, (wipes brow) thank goodness it was before this was posted i would've felt soooooooooo guilty!!

[scotch-mist]

Tora,
       sorry to read about the shoddy way you were treated ,
have a look at the list of seeds I have in the swapshop ,
(Tesco vouchers thread ) and pick whatever you like. ;D
         I will send you as many differant seeds as you would like ;)

P.S. you don't need to send me anything in return,
not even vouchers :)

[Biscombe]

Tora, sorry to hear about that, It does sound like you were swindled! I think It's a great idea about the swap feedback as an add on to the site. As a swapper I think it would be useful to pop a note in with the seeds, sometimes I get some seeds through the post and I don't know where theyve come from (even though I have a diary)

[Tora]

Thank you, everyone. :)

I feel much better now after writing about it and reading your replies.

Rutters, yes, it's funplants. I'm so sorry to hear he's had you as well. :( I think the chance of bamboo turning up is very slim now. ::)

People here are very kind and almost all the swaps I've had have been great. That's why I didn't doubt if he was a genuine person. It's the lying he did that made me really upset. I would have sent the plants to him anyway if he really wanted it and asked me. He didn't need to lure me with bamboo he never intended to send.

I understand what you mean Jeannine. I'd agree that publishing a list of dishonest swapper would be very tricky. Probably most swaps gone wrong are caused by misunderstanding and lack of communication. Perhaps we can still have a list of recommendation though, somewhere at the top of swap shop as a pinned post? And maybe a note reminding people to put a note stating their name in the envelope/packet with the seeds (like Biscombe suggested) and contact the swapper when it arrives/hasn't arrived, etc?

Scotch-mist, thanks so much for your kind offer. :-* I would have taken your offer if it was a few months ago but now I'm trying to stop myself from getting seeds, as I have more than enough for now thanks to generous A4A members. I really appreciate your kindness ;)


Thanks again 

Tora xx :)

[OllieC]

Here is a link to someone who is known as funplants. Interstingly, he particularly like bamboos. Seems to work in Cambridge.

https://auth.gardenweb.com/members/funplants

Here is link to his business:

http://www.anothermouse.com/

Here is his mobile number (as published by him on his website already):
On second thoughts, probably best to follow the links he gives

If it's not him then perhaps someone should give him a call & let him know that someone is impersonating him!

[flowerofshona2007]

Its lovely to swap with people but one bad experience can spoil it :(
I have sent out sooooo many seeds im running out LOL, but i love doing it :)

[cambourne7]

Hi Guys,

i have such a poor memory i am happy for people to remind me that i have forgotten to send them things.

But this person is not playing fair.

I have looked up the domain and this based in cambridge! so on behalf of everyone i cambridge I appologise.

Camborune7

[Jeannine]

Can I offer another suggestion here. I sometimes get names mixed up,eg Cambourne I know you first name as I do many but sometimes we get a PM from say ............( I'll make one up)   from say      Minniemouse, she then signs her PM MM or Minnie, then you get a seed swap from someone called Mary, or Doris and you think ,who the Dickens is that?

In my case, my site name is Jeannine, I sign myself  Jeannine and I sign letters and parcels Jeannine, it is my name, if I didn't use it  I would forget who I am .

I am not suggesting we all use our regular names but please put , eg from Doris or Mary, AKA  Minniemouse.!!

Just a thought.

XX Jeannine

[ellkebe]

Good point Jeannine - I usually put (ellkebe/A4A) somewhere on the front of envelopes so peeps know what it is.

[scotch-mist]

Good point Jeannine,
                                this doppy bugger always puts her real name :o

[emmy1978]

Oh shame, does sound as if you've been had!  :( Don't let it put you off though, i bet you'll have loads more good swap experiences than bad. Not done any swapping yet, as haven't had many seeds to swap with. Starting to look in growing seed box and thinking about certainly sharing seeds, if not swapping.
Jeannine, all your advice noted!  :D

[purple sprouting]

I can only speak from my own personal experience - however I have recently 'swapped' with 'funplants' and after the PM about frozen ground I received a lovely piece of root that has now grown into a 45cm high bamboo.  I am very pleased with my personal swap  - as I have been with all swaps via this site.

Regards

Ann

 

[Tora]

Ann, could you tell me when you got the plant from him? I've sent many e-mails and PMs but he's never replied. Last time he wrote me was back in January when I asked him if my plants and seeds arrived ok.
Rutters had the same experience, not hearing from him since January.

I sent him many messages, as I thought he could be away on holiday or something. I waited for so long, as I didn't want to complain without good reasons and accuse him wrongly. :-\

I've now sent him an e-mail via his website. Will see what happens.

[rutters]

Last message I got from 'Peter' was to say he was going away for a while but would be back on 20th Feb at which time he would send the Bamboo.

Lets hope nothing's happened to him while he was away! Maybe his website will reveal more. (if he contacts you tell him he still owes me for the sunflower and chilli seeds)

[MrsKP]

As a swapper I think it would be useful to pop a note in with the seeds, sometimes I get some seeds through the post and I don't know where theyve come from (even though I have a diary)

Agreed Biscombe.  There was a time I was getting seeds through the post at a rate of knots and had no idea who they were from.  I now staple either the note or the envelope it came it (if it's got a return address) to prompt the old grey cells.

Such a shame that you've been let down like this Tora but sadly these things do happen.  My OH got stung to the tune of £100 because someone he trusted done a runner !   :o  Don't think he'll get caught out again !   

Not everyone out there is as nice as most of us.

;D