What Would You Do?

[Teen]

Hello all,

I have a bit of a dilemma and would just like some opinions just to help me make my mind up ha ha

OK here goes.  My allotment is in the process of making an additional 42 new plots.  My Boss has acquired one and he's 75!  He's slightly regretting it because its a huge plot and its a distance from the car park and anything else.

I have a half plot near many annoying people, but I've started getting it how I want it and have raspberries and a shed etc on it now.  But the people are really annoying and make me not want to go to my plot just because of that.

I would like a full plot eventually.  Just didn't think an opportunity would arise quite so soon.

I'm in two minds can you tell.  I'd really like to get away from the annoying ones, but it would be quite an upheaval to do so.  I haven't mentioned it to my boss but was contemplating asking if he'd like to swap with me.

What would you do?

[Teen]

[lewic]

I wonder if the boss could be bribed into helping you move your shed, because you are giving him a plot in good condition? Or maybe he would like to buy it off you so you could buy another one?

Re the annoying people.. it depends what it is about them that is annoying! Eg if they get drunk and make a lot of noise, they might be bribable with beer. They may be all too happy to help you move your shed somewhere quieter.

Ditto if your neighbours complain as soon as you turn on a strimmer or light a barbie. I would put the word around that you are "thinking of moving to another plot, but only if I can move my shed/raspberries/etc".

But if these people are in the ASBO category, ask yourself whether your boss would appreciate you foisting these neighbours on him, and whether it might affect your job?

[KathrynH]

What is it about your current neighbours that you find so annoying? And do you dislike your boss enough to stitch him up with these people without putting him in the picture first? I think you need to think this through quite carefully as you could end up in quite a difficult situation.

[Teen]

My boss knows about them already so there isn't any way I'm stitching him up. 

They're annoying in that they are "know it alls" and apparently everyone there is not a gardener and doesn't know what they are doing.  It feels like I'm being watched all of the time or talked about.  For instance one of them came up to me today and said have I been on holiday because he hasn't seen me and I was only up there the other day.  That's why I feel like I'm being watched because he says that quite often.  He then went on to make a smokey bonfire which just happened to blow in my direction  >:(

I am a bit of a private person, and I thought being out of the way would be ideal for me.  I like to get on with things and be left alone, and I don't get a whole lot of that and so tend to keep away.  Plus I thought they might leave my boss alone cause he's a bloke and not a female inept!  Perhaps I sound a bit paranoid, but other people on the plot think they're a pain in behind too so I'm not alone.

It seemed to suit both our situations and thought it might be worth at least mentioning it.  I wouldn't be losing anything if he says no anyway.

[KathrynH]

As long as your boss knows the situation there's no harm in asking. It could be the answer for both of you and he may not have the same problems with them.

[Teen]

Are you trying to say he might get on with them cause he's an old fart too, Kathryn?  ;D  I did wonder that...  Naughty aren't I?

[lewic]

If you want to get rid of know-it-alls, be mega enthusiastic and keep bugging them for answers to simple questions. Act like they are God and you don't want to plant anything without asking the expert first. Follow them around, offering them tea. I wager they will be hiding in their sheds from you before you know it ;)

[Teen]

Hmm not sure if that would work, it might just swell their egos!

I should be more like the neighbour on the other half of my plot.  Now if you want annoying she's the king, no really she's Mrs King ha ha

They all can't stand her.  Mind you she's really annoying.  She's a bit of a nagging type with a henpecked husband.  Do you know the sort I mean?  You see her and hide.  I need to get some tips from her I think.  Trouble is I'm the meek and mild, quiet type who doesn't say boo to a goose sort.  Its hard to change personalities.  Maybe my heavy metal t-shirts aren't explicit enough or something.

[Bjerreby]

My therapist says I am not good at empathizing, but in your case, I know exactly what you mean. I hate to put it this way Teen, but it sounds like you and I have similar temperaments. I sympathize  :-\

People used to lecture me about being more sociable and less of a perfectionist. I've done self hypnosis and cured my perfectionism, but on the other hand, my desire for privacy and seclusion have only worsened over the years.

Better news is I've been  married to a Danish lass since 1975, and much of the intervening time has been spent in Denmark. I am fluent in Danish, but not everyone knows that, so if I am feeling partiularly anti-social, I just pretend I am an ignorant foreigner and I don't understand what people are saying. If people know me, I just reply in English which embarasses them. It works a treat, and people leave me alone.   :D

The best news however is that my veggie garden is, well, in the garden! I have nice privet hedges around my detached bungalow. It's not quite the North York Moors (where I would be if I had the choice), but it is a decent compromise!.

My advice Teen, if you are misanthropic like me, get used to it, and find a spot where you can enjoy your privacy. Tell your boss exactly what you are thinking so you are not concealing anything, and he is then free to choose what he wants to do. That's a win-win situation.

[hellohelenhere]

I think you should make the switch, as the only objection to it seems to be shifting your stuff; once done, it would be done. Coming to your allotment should be peaceful and pleasurable. It's not good if you don't even feel like visiting your plot because of the over-bearing neighbours. You may eventually give up if it's like that.

I've several times had gardens (in houses divided into flats) where the garden is subdivided, and if you go into the garden, you always run the risk of having to chat with the neighbours. Since the urge for garden-time is often also an urge for quiet-time, I used to dread them coming out and talking at me, even though they were great neighbours and I really liked them. I just wanted to weed quietly, listen to the birds, and think. Not discuss tedious things like the situation with the Freehold, planning applications, or the barking dog across the way. It sometimes deterred me from using the garden at all. So I really understand how you feel about it.

[Teen]

Well just found out I can't go ahead with a swap so all this topic was for nothing unfortunately.

This is why "Unfortunately it is't possible to swap plots between the existing site and the new site as WWDC are running the new plots at the moment and when the councils move to the new Wiltshire County Council they will be running it.  We did have discussions with WWDC about running the site in addition to our own but the new council want to review allotments across the county before they discuss it further with us".

Is this slightly confusing or what?  Two separately run allotments in one area.  I bet everyone in the new plot is assuming they are part of our plot.  Ours is run by the association, since about a year ago after taking over from the council.

I shall just have to put up with the oldies, unfortunately and my boss will have to cope with what he has, afterall, chosen for himself.

[tonybloke]

swapping of plots? NO!!!
plots are let to the individual, and are not transferable. It would be like swapping council houses, or passing them on to a friend!  ;)

[PurpleHeather]

I am afraid that allotments are gregarious places where people go to grow and chat.

Asking if you had been on holiday because he had not seen you is a common opening line for a conversation between two normal allotment holders.

Every one wants to be expert on something and talking about gardening on an allotment site is a common conversation topic.

You will get exactly the same where ever your allotment is.

Frankly the only thing to do if you want more land to dig in total privacy is to buy a house with a huge garden and fence it off.

[Teen]

I've been up my plot today and found it quiet if I go fairly early.  I may try to go up every Saturday morning early.  I quite enjoyed the piece and quiet if I'm honest.  I'm not a fan of hot weather either so it suits me quite well.

Then at about 10 everyone and their kids all turned up.  I left at 11.  I was tired anyway and I'd been left in relative peace and got another bed dug. 

I think I just have to work out when I'm least likely to bump into them and go then.  Mind you I've noticed that they seem preoccupied with sticking their nose into anyone looking at the new plots, so that kept them out of the way for a bit. 

I did notice that the "know it all guy" who can be annoying and hard to get rid of, was being annoyed by a little girl talking to him constantly when he was trying to work.  Revenge in small packages  :D

I do quite like my plot if I am completely honest, and it is becoming more how I want it.  It would be a shame to move after all that hard work wouldn't it.  I don't think I'd really have time for anything bigger. 

[fishpond]

IMHO
Stay where you are!
You are getting it how you want it. When your slightly off putting neighbours see that you are serious, your produce is better and more abundant than theirs (and your plot is probably tidier) they will leave you alone and pick on someone else.
You could even enter the allotment show(I am sure they will have one).That should put their noses out of joint.
If you allow your boss to take over your plot, it will leave him with the know it alls, and at 75 it may not do him a lot of good.

[Teen]

Its funny how your mind can change so quickly sometimes isn't.  I'm guessing deep down I didn't want to move. 

I do feel a bit sorry for my boss though.  Its the furthest plot away and its huge.  To be honest though I'm not sure he had fully thought through how much hard work goes in to an allotment plot and its certainly opening his eyes to it now. 

My partner and I were only saying the other day, how you wouldn't want a plot where his is, not realising that he'd got that plot.  Its the thought of humping all that manure all that way!!  I think I'm definitely better off where I am. 

I could understand why he took it one way (long waiting lists etc), but if it looks that daunting I think I would have thought it over first.  Maybe he'll get some help, although I offered to he refused.

[Teen]

PS they do have an allotment show, they also have a best allotment competition.  I'd secretly love to win the latter.  You wouldn't believe how many noses would get put out if I did  ;D

Things like that are taken far too seriously, don't you think?

[reddyreddy]

work slow and steady ignore the others and when your allotment is the ebst and wins the show - revenge, a dish best servied cold - offer them some advice!! ;)

[fishpond]

"Things like that are taken far too seriously, don't you think?"
No, I don't.
I grow food to eat and keep my ground reasonably tidy.
Would I ever enter a vegetable show - no- I haven't got the time to grow to show standard.
Would I ever win a best allotment show---not now as  I haven't got one anymore, I have a biggish garden and access to another one ;D
But when I did have one ----once again it was time and being not the tidiest person on the planet.
The guy that used to win it year on year spent at least an hour a day, every day -summer and winter, working on it even in the cold and wet.
Absolutely crackers, but he was a smashing bloke and his plot was an inspiration
to me and everybody else.
I am sure there was jealousy when he also started to win prizes at the local shows, but fair play to the guy, he enjoyed what he did and had the time and knowledge to do it to perfection.

So is there a place for shows? of course there is--Without shows, how could we know what could be achieved with a little more thought, time and effort. :)

[Teen]

It was the jealousy that I was referring to Fishpond.  It should be done in fun, but you should hear how angry people get when they haven't won.

Personally I think its probably a good way to get people to keep tidy plots  :D