"Come as you are" funeral attire...

[OllieC]

Can I ask people what they would wear to a secular funeral of someone who was in his low 30's and where the instruction said "come as you are..."... I am generally the scruffiest person around...

It's strange what you get stuck on.

[OllieC]

[Squash64]

It definitely doesn't sound like a 'dark suit, white shirt, black tie' affair so just wear your most un-scruffy normal clothes. IYKWIM.

Low 30s is very young, what a shame.

[manicscousers]

friend of mine was killed by a mad driver in a van, she was 35..we all went in bright clothes to celebrate her life  :-\

[shirlton]

Sounds as if they didn't want anyone to be any different than they were when he was with them. Just be yourself Ollie

[asbean]

Wear normal for you, but not scruffy.  Nice and bright too.

[tonybloke]

I reckon they mean, just be you, don't wear 'fancy dress' !
A friend was complimented at his grandads funeral for not getting 'dressed up'! (his gran said at the wake, "special thanks to scroggy, he's the only one grandad would recognise if he was here" ;)

[ACE]

Although secular funerals are not tied to any religion, the reverence of the occasion should still be taken into account. Be smart but not sombre. but remember if you are going to the crematorium they will be busy this time of year and there will be another commital after your friends service. I would not like to bump into somebody in rainbow colours if I was them.

[saddad]

Was at an Uncle's funeral a couple of weeks ago... and they played "always look on the bright side of life" as the outro music, not sure what the next group thought of it.... but it raised a smile...  :-X

[OllieC]

Thanks all... and yes, far too young. He was my best mate that I grew up with, and other aspects make it especially sad, but it's his & his families personal stuff so I don't think I can really say much more on a public forum.

I never thought I would be interested in ACE's fashion tips (can you take advice from someone with a red chandelier?!) but it's useful stuff from all of you.

You are such a great bunch on here, thanks again!

[caroline7758]

Although secular funerals are not tied to any religion, the reverence of the occasion should still be taken into account. Be smart but not sombre. but remember if you are going to the crematorium they will be busy this time of year and there will be another commital after your friends service. I would not like to bump into somebody in rainbow colours if I was them.

I don't think anyone should be swayed by what complete strangers might think, if they are doing what their grieving friends want.
My mother in law asked for bright colours at her husband's funeral tomake it a celebration.

[electric landlady]

One of my best friends died last year aged only 36 and specially directed that people should wear what they liked at her funeral. Most people wore fairly smart clothes, and went for orange, which was her favourite colour.

It was odd because we got stuck on this too...didn't want to wear depressing black but also didn't want to be inappropriate or just wear normal clothes....I think the favourite colour option was a good solution and it certainly made things a bit less, well, funereal.

Sorry to hear this about your friend. Best wishes..hope it goes smoothly and you give him a good send-off.
xx

[ACE]

Well I hope they don't want to 'celebrate' my life when I'm gone. I shall be pretty peed of when I have got to go. So if I ain't enjoying it neither is anybody else, same goes for the drinks.

Be just like OH to decorate the crem with red chandeliers, then all down town for a few pints and a kebab. ;D

[Froglegs]

A friend of mine pass away not so long a go,he asked that nobody wore a tie to his funeral.

[Poppy Mole]

I wore a darkish red skirt to my husbands funeral as it was one he liked to see me in -it raised a few eyebrows, but what the heck.

[Squash64]

This topic reminded me of what it used to be like in Sicily, and still is with the older generation.

For the funeral, everyone would dress in black from head to foot, except that men would wear a white shirt. 

If a woman's husband died, the woman would dress only in black for the rest of her life, no matter how young she was at the time of the death.

I have always liked black and when I went over there with my husband for the first time everyone thought I was in mourning for someone.  I gave up explaining that I liked black because they thought it was so bizarre that anyone would wear it without having to.

[lorna]

When my husband died my son asked if he should buy a suit (like his dad he hated wearing a suit)  I just said "Good grief, no don't wear a suit as Dad won't recognize you" He wore his leather jacket and smart trousers. I wore a trouser suit as I hadn't worn a skirt/dress for years. So Ollie go as "you" but a step up from scruffy.

[gordonsveg]

My daughter was cremated yesterday,she was 51 and everyone was asked to wear one bright and cheerful i.e tie,shirt or somthing and it was suprising how it brightened up a very sad occasian(?) especiely for the younger members of the family.

[Squash64]

My daughter was cremated yesterday,she was 51 and everyone was asked to wear one bright and cheerful i.e tie,shirt or somthing and it was suprising how it brightened up a very sad occasian(?) especiely for the younger members of the family.

That was a nice thought Gordon, especially at such a sad time for you.  I'm glad it went well.

[cleo]

Although I tend to be a bit `traditional` when it comes to funerals-(suit,shirt and black tie),it`s not the clothes that count.

It`s the joy of remembering and the sadness of loss in your heart that really counts

[Deb P]

I confess I have little in my wardrobe that isn't black, so if I wore any colour to a funeral my family would be shocked........