opinions welcomed - 'free' refreshments

[Squash64]

I would like people's opinions on this please:-

We provide tea/coffee/cold drinks/toast to our plotholders at a low charge (25p drinks, 20p toast) the proceeds of which go to our designated charity.
Sunday mornings are always the busiest and we usually take about £10 -£12.

One of our plotholders asked if he could have a memorial 'do' for his son who died suddenly.  He said he would pay for all the food and drinks.  This took place yesterday morning, with another plotholder preparing the food and drink, paid for by the father.

I was expecting that they would calculate roughly how many teas and coffees they made and leave the money for them.  As it turned out, they brought their own tea, coffee and milk and didn't leave any money at all.  Some people even had our cold drinks from the fridge and didn't pay for them.

Am I being unreasonable?  I'm feeling a bit annoyed because there were so many people there as it was such a nice day, and we didn't make a penny.

Opinions would be welcomed, thanks.

[Squash64]

[Sparkly]

I would say that it wasn't really fair, but as a one off I wouldn't say anything. Especially in light of the situation.

[kt.]

Either let him know you are short and could he make the difference.  Or take it on the chin with a lesson learnt not to do it again.  Once bitten twice shy and all that.

[PurpleHeather]

No, you are not being unreasonable at all.

People who have been berieved or find that they have a 'cause' FEEL that that they have to make some sort of donation after a loved one has died or diagnosed and frankly they come up with all sorts of silly ideas like a sponsored dog walk, just to quench their personal thirst to repay or contribute..

Stealing from one good cause to repay another is fair game to them and frankly. You have to be hard here.

Charity is all well and good. The people raising funds will often try to play on the guilt factor and will tread on your toes to appease their own cause.

Fund raising is a difficult area.

You have to learn to say "NO. We raise a small amount for our cause and whilst yours is very worth while, we can not afford to give you our profits to fund yours." We will be only too pleased to give you space to advertise your own fund raising efforts".

Once bitten twice shy..........As the saying goes.

[Flighty]

I would be annoyed but under the circumstances I wouldn't do or say anything. Learn from it and if there's a next time then agree on things beforehand to hopefully avoid any such problems.

[Duke Ellington]

I couldn't have put it better Flighty!!!

I would be annoyed but under the circumstances I wouldn't do or say anything. Learn from it and if there's a next time then agree on things beforehand to hopefully avoid any such problems.

[gwynnethmary]

I'm with Flighty too!

[Borlotti]

Well said Flighty.  ;D ;D I agree too, not worth the aggro.

[Unwashed]

They took a bit of a liberty Betty, you're right to feel put out.  I guess Flighty's right, though I don't see that it would necessarily cause offence to tot-up what you think you're short and let the person know as they might be happy to repy what will only be a few quid.

[Squash64]

Thanks everyone for your replies.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought it was wrong.

I'm going to take the Flighty path (sorry, lol) and if there is another time, discuss it first.

Off to bed now, I've been up since 5, walked the dogs at 6.30 and at the allotment from 7.30 till 2 and I'm slightly shattered.

Thanks again,
Betty

[redimp]

They took a bit of a liberty Betty, you're right to feel put out.  I guess Flighty's right, though I don't see that it would necessarily cause offence to tot-up what you think you're short and let the person know as they might be happy to repy what will only be a few quid.

[Unwashed]

You've lost me Redclanger?

[Squash64]

You've lost me Redclanger?

Me too!

[:(]

Its a Catherine Tate character, Nan Taylor whos a foulmouthed stingy old bat and one of her sayings is its a f###ing liberty. Dont shoot the messenger.

[redimp]

You've lost me Redclanger?

Ah - it was just  a bit of jest because you said they were taking liberties.  Nan just popped into my head and I was feeling mischievous.

[cornykev]

Well I liked it RC, Betty I'd be a bit pissed off, but I think you'll have to put this one down to experience.  :(       ;D ;D ;D

[antipodes]

I guess that when he said he would pay for drinks, he just meant that he would provide them. I don't really see what he has done wrong  ??? or is it just me? I would say that he just wanted to have a bit of moral support, perhaps to thank everyone for being supportive, and that making money for the charity, on this occasion, was far from his mind.
still, at least you know that if there is a repeat experience, state clearly what your terms are.

[detailista]

I would invoice for the cold drinks taken from the fridge, just in the way of a hand written note. 

If he'd had a memorial do elsewhere he would have been looking at roomhire and drinks so he's saved plenty already.

I agree some tact is needed in the handling but if he said upfront he'd pay for the drinks it's not unreasonable to ask.

good luck.